Stop it.
You stop it
Stop, Blaine. I did.
No.
Yes.
Exactly what I said
…It’s not your fault. You didn’t fail. You didn’t.
Stop, Blaine. I did.
Blaine… you really need to see this for what it is.
And that would be what?
Exactly what I said
No, that is unrealistic. You can’t handle all that on your own. No one can. I’m not. I can do whatever I want whenever I want, that’s just the way that it is. I did, Blaine. I got sick, I can’t control myself, I make you feel horrible about your decisions. I have failed as a…
Blaine… you really need to see this for what it is.
Don’t you see that doesn’t matter. i should still be able to have you home and take of you and our kids. But I can’t, because I don’t know how to do that. I don’t know how keep you safe here. Kurt.. You didn’t fail me..
No, that is unrealistic. You can’t handle all that on your own. No one can. I’m not. I can do whatever I want whenever I want, that’s just the way that it is. I did, Blaine. I got sick, I can’t control myself, I make you feel horrible about your decisions. I have failed as a parent and husband. I have. I know that.
I don’t know what you want me to say. Do you want to be just say. “Of course I’m a great husband and father, I get told that day after day a by anons, about how great I am. How I sent you to Elani was for the family and not because I’m selfish and I can’t handle you. And you go on and tell Annie how I should miss because I sent there.” Oh wait no I don’t see how I’m this great husband and father, because time after time no matter what I think is right for our family and the safety of our children and you. I get told I am being selfish. Then I hear that I can’t even miss you because I have no right to miss you. And don’t tell me you said that because you upset, you really do believe that. So yeah, you hate where you are, and it makes you feel like shit. But you wouldn’t feel any better home. You wouldn’t. I don’t even feel good here. I cry myself to sleep every night, that’s if I get to sleep because I miss you so much. Because I miss when we happy, and you were healthy. because I feel like I failed you because I didn’t noticed you were so unhappy and slipping. I failed our family for not seeing it. I failed our family for bringing you Elani. I failed you so much, and our family.
You did fail our family, Blaine. I’m crazy and the anons are wrong. I know you sent me here for our kids. It’s not good or right for them to be around me. You protect our kids, that’s what makes you a great father. You can’t be blamed for any of this because if I wasn’t weak enough to let this all take control again none of this would have happened. Since this started all you’ve said is ‘I should have seen it’. Well, I didn’t want you to see it, so no you shouldn’t have, that was the whole point. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’ve caused so much trouble. You have never failed me, I failed you.
I’m sorry. But if either of us is a good dad and husband that honor goes to you.
Yeah… alright.
Okay… This is pointless if there is no adult conversation that is going to happen.
Blaine, we have very busy lives, my recovery has to work differently now. I have to be in charge instead of you comforting me, as horrible as that is for me and how much worse it makes it. You just don’t have time to drop everything for my dumb craziness. Yes, you sent me away…
I’m sorry. But if either of us is a good dad and husband that honor goes to you.
But it is my fault. I didn’t try hard enough to help you home, I didn’t comfort you, or help you. It’s my fault. Then I sent you way because I couldn’t handle it. Even you think that.
Blaine, we have very busy lives, my recovery has to work differently now. I have to be in charge instead of you comforting me, as horrible as that is for me and how much worse it makes it. You just don’t have time to drop everything for my dumb craziness. Yes, you sent me away because you couldn’t handle it. And, yes, this place makes me - it’s hell. But, you did what you had to do for our family. Because you are a great dad and husband, okay? Trust me.
